Silence and Solitude

One of my favorite TV shows is called THE BEAR on Hulu. I have never found myself more stressed out watching a TV show, I love it though because of the writing and character arcs (side note: if you take issue with bad language, this may not be the show for you). My favorite character on that TV show is Richie Jerimovich, who manages “The Beef”. When we first meet Ritchie in Season 1, he’s a mess. He’s abrasive, reckless, and totally stuck in the past. He doesn’t want anything to change. He clings to traditions, and his angry persona ultimately masks his own personal pain. In the story, the original owner of The Beef was Ritchie’s best friend, who had passed away and at this point given the restaurant to his younger brother Carmy, who’s a 5-star Chef with issues of his own and is bringing his 5-star experience to this chaotic little sandwich shop. On top of that, Ritchie’s gone through a divorce and is struggling to raise his younger daughter. All that said, we fall in love with this character because under all his bluster, he’s a deeply passionate and loyal man who cares deeply for his friends and family. By season two, we find Richie’s arc pivoting when he’s forced (by Carmy) into a new environment, trailing the front-of-house staff of EVER, a three-Michelin-star Chicago restaurant. This is where we get to watch this wonderful transformation begin to slowly take place. At EVER, Ritchie is forced into an environment that’s nothing like what he experiences at The Beef. At EVER, instead of reaction after reaction, he finds intention, instead of noise he finds quiet, instead of anxiety and panic he finds practice (he has a Karate Kid moment polishing forks for hours), and instead of hurry he finds a slower pace.

What I love about Ritchie is that we begin to see this man who is formed in chaos, noise, disappointment after disappointment, conflict, and survival begin to enter a radically different rhythm. EVER functions almost like a retreat for Ritchie. Silence allows him to slow down and finally see his work, people, and himself clearly. The solitude he finds himself in isn’t in isolation either. His time at EVER becomes a bit of a doorway into a new community and friendships. He begins to see that his worth is not tied to being loud and dominant but to being attentive to himself and others. There’s a great scene where Richie overhears a table’s disappointment about missing out on having Chicago deep dish pizza on their vacation, so he runs to a local spot and returns with a pie that Ever’s Chef transforms into an elegant plated dish, and Richie asks to deliver it to the guest himself. He’s never been happier.

Recently, one of the people that I met with for spiritual direction brought a burden to our conversation that had to do with his disappointment around not spending enough time with the Lord. While we were talking, I noticed he was wearing a hat that said “Yes Chef” on the front, which is what is said throughout each episode of The Bear. We talked about our love for the show and Ritchie’s character, so I asked him, “What are you saying 'yes' to that keeps you from spending time with God. We spent some time unpacking all of the things he says “yes” to. Many of which were good things (he’s in ministry) but ultimately were unfulfilling. We discerned together that God was using his disappointment to invite him into his own EVER.

Jesus did this all the time in the Gospels. Always getting away to be with his Father. Jesus models this for us: a life where withdrawal provides an opportunity to find rest but also renewal, which actually fuels a faithful return to wherever God has us. Peace, Joy, and real renewal are found with Jesus, not in trying to manage our chaos and burdens. John Mark Comer said that “the solution to an overbusy, noisy, hectic, chaotic life is not more time. It’s to slow down and simplify our lives around what really matters.”

There’s a lot more I could say about this, but instead I’ll leave you with two curious questions that you can ask yourself:

1. If you allowed yourself even just a small amount of silence and solitude, what do you sense might surface in you that God is longing to heal, reshape, or re-form?

2. What rhythms, places, or practices help you become more attentive to God rather than more productive, and how might Jesus be inviting you into those more regularly?

If you are longing for grounding, discernment, or a renewed sense of faith, this may be your invitation to slow down, listen, and be reformed before returning to the life you're called to live. If you'd like to someone to walk with you during this journey I would love to talk about how I might help. Send me a note via the contact page to schedule a time to chat.